Friday Frivolity – July 8

I do not want to start a rumor that I am a chauvinist.  It’s no rumor.  Maybe not a Webster defined “males are superior” fool.  I don’t open doors for them because I think they are less capable.  However, I do subscribe to the thinking that men and women view the world about them much differently.  Considering my experiences, I conclude that a women’s viewpoint is…ahh…shall we say…inferior due to cloudy perspective. The male-female divergence of perception is distinctly observable in social situations.

At a wedding reception a while back, Kim, who was in the wedding party, came to the table where the rest our family was seated.  “Mom, will you come to the bathroom with me.  I need your help.”

Every female at the table perceived a clandestine, secret agent type, message.  While the men processed the message as a simple request for assistance, all the women, regardless of age, perceived a call to duty.  In unison, almost synchronized, they all rose and convoyed to the ladies room.

What causes that?  It must be an innate, reflex, reaction.  Sometimes it’s hardly verbalized.  One woman rises with a muted “ahem”, and 3 others at the table get up and leave with her.  The guys all look at each other wondering if someone farted.  The women know it’s a matter of urgency, though not always physical in nature.

If I were to rise and make a similar throaty sound, the nearest guy would jump up and perform the Heimlich Maneuver.

When Sue returned to the table, she exclaimed; “I thought I’d stopped helping her in the bathroom a loooong time ago.”  Whoa!  My dad stopped helping me in the bathroom after one lesson concerning the zipper and NEVER perceived a need to assist with that again.  Of course, the designer of men’s wear saw fit to put the zipper where it could be manipulated by its owner.  Apparently the designers of fine dresses did not perceive the need for a woman do accomplish this task alone.

Sue’s explanation for her accompanying her daughter to the bathroom gave me a segue I could not help but take advantage of.  I looked across the table, “Hey, Bubba…, you want to go to the bathroom with me.  My zipper has been giving me fits lately.”  Two women at the next table fainted.

It’s a matter of perspective.

One thought on “Friday Frivolity – July 8

  1. Observations from similar experiences are filed away in the folder marked, “Things I’ll never ever understand.”


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