I truly enjoy my time with my brother, ‘Bama Bob. Just visiting with him and his wife in Alabama is good, but the real fun…if not funny time is accomplishing a “project” with him. Last summer was one of those times.
The project was replacing a broken roof beam supporting a tool & implement shed. This project also entailed re-setting one of the posts beneath the busted beam. Consequently, we had to remove the broken concrete foundation beneath the old post. Necessarily, we needed a pick-ax to dig through rock-hard clay. Unfortunately we needed to kneel to hand chisel out pieces of concrete. Regrettably, we hand-chiseled into an ant colony. Incidentally, we is a generic pronoun more precisely, ME.
In a flash they were all over me like ants on honey. Oh, wait, they were ants. Ahhh, they were all over me like flies on fresh…never mind. Let’s just say there were lots of them and none of them happy.
But, I needed to dig the hole still deeper and could not accomplish that standing up. To protect me while kneeling, I asked. “Hey, Bob. Do you have some ant spray?”
“Sure do.” Came his assurance and off he went.
I wiped the sweat from my brow along with the ants from my pants. And a few under my pants too.
I walked over to get a drink of water.
I walked back.
I could have taken a nap before he returned.
I was well rested when he returned. “Gee, the spray wasn’t where I thought it was.”
He handed me the can. I took dead aim at the heart of the ant population and pressed the atomizer trigger. Pfst.
Please take note. That was a 4 letter pfst. Not the extended pfssssst I was anticipating. There were a couple ants that looked up at me wondering if I was blowing a cool breeze their way. I shook the can vigorously and pressed the atomizer button with all the force my forefinger could muster. Pft
Please note, 3 letters…no s… Just a puff of exhaust from the can.
Bob quickly exclaimed; “Hmmm, I thought it had more in it than that.”
“I don’t suppose you have a new can somewhere.” I doubtfully queried.
“For an old guy, you’re darned good at supposing.” He countered
The ants had calmed considerably by this time. I took several new pick-ax pokes into the hole. Oh, yeah, that got into the heart of the colony. I exclaimed; “Break time. We’ll get the loose dirt out after they go in for the night.”
In the meantime, we decided to go to up the hill to the woodshed for the needed piece of lumber. The beam we had to replace was quite long. At the woodshed, I pulled out an identically dimensioned beam. Identical in width and thickness but was its length sufficient for our need. So, I asked the logical questioned. “How long a piece do we need, Bob.”
“That one is long enough.”
“How do you know, you haven’t measured it yet?”
“I know it’s long enough because we don’t have any that are any longer.”
Let me just say that “any longer” we might have gone that day would have been a bumpy ride downhill. Did I mention that the woodshed is atop a fairly steep rocky hill.