Friday Frivolity: A Brief Thought

Recently I went to the store to purchase underwear.  Truthfully, I didn’t need briefs, but they were advertised at a “rollback” price plus an electronic coupon made the purchase almost mandatory.

Besides, my overstock supply above my hanging clothes had unopened packages of socks and V-neck undershirts, but no briefs.  This is an intolerable situation for me.  I have the money now.  The price is right, now.  What recourse would I have if cash flow was insufficient when the ready-to-wear stack in my dresser dwindled.

Furthermore, what if I needed to go to emergency?  With due respect to my mom, I must have super clean underwear on for such situations.  There just wouldn’t be time to fumble through the stacks in my drawer to find the cleanest pair to put on as the ambulance sped to our house.

Gee, I never thought of this before—What if the emergency occurred when I wasn’t at home where the unopened briefs are stored in the closet?  What if I was on the road?  Sorry, mom, even if I put on “clean” underwear whenever I leave home, I could have a brief accident during a car collision.

Maybe I should seal a brand new pair of undershorts in a Zip-loc to put in the car.

Hold on folks.  It seems that Hanes has already thought of that.  Did you know that Hanes Briefs come in re-sealable packaging?  If that wasn’t a foresight of “what if…”, why else would underwear come in Zip-Loc packaging?  Just think…you can take out all but one pair, reseal the package and hide it in your vehicle.

Wait.  I’m going to write to Hanes and suggest that the plastic packaging should be opaque and have removable labels…just for the sake of modesty.

We’re not sure how birds or bees fit into the story

Come on Scott…surely you’ve observed birds in the bush. And remember to mention that just one in the hand may be better in certain situations, two in the bush is critical. That’s how they fit in. Bees, on the other hand…or either hand for that matter, are a whole different story.

Snoozing on the Sofa

Buster has developed quite a curiosity these days. Formerly, the pinnacle of his curiosity was wanting to know where I had hidden the Tootsie Rolls. Now, he has blossomed into a regular preschool philosopher, wondering things like: “How do clouds get up in the sky?”

Wondering about clouds is, of course, a slippery slope leading ultimately to a quagmire of curiosities about human conception. Being the high thinker he is, Buster would never ask such a crude question as “Where do babies come from?” No, Buster has feelings for the old man, and would not just conk him on the head with that one. He demonstrates a certain finesse in softening it to “How do people get to be real?”

If only we could all handle the topic of sexual reproduction in such a mature manner.

Is it a tree or a shrub? My Sex Ed classes left me with…

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