Uncertainty Resolved

Typically Sue and I eat out on Sundays.  Actually, Sue’s uncle shamed me into that habit.  The inference of his habit—65 years of blissful marriage is testimony to this being  good idea.  So, rather than even briefly considering the pros and cons, I committed to taking Sue out every Sunday.

Now, “take Sue out” is often marginalized by the situation of some Sundays.  If we are working an Art & Craft Show, “out” is “at the show” for most of the day.  So, Pulled Pork Sandwich for her and a hot dog for me…maybe chips.  Drinks are in the cooler we brought.  Hey, she didn’t have to fix it at home.

Though it is my commitment, I alternate with Sue in choosing the restaurant.  More often than not, when I ask Sue “Where are we going to eat”, she has difficulty making a choice.  Sometimes I even remind her early in the morning that this is her week to decide, but whatever her immediate thoughts might include, they quickly vanish into the procrasti-Nation of her cerebral continent.

Eventually she will remark with the name of my new franchise.  At least, I’ve considered the profitability potential for a new restaurant.  I’m quite confident, with the proper advertizing, men all over the Lansing area will know exactly where to take their indecisive wives…I DON’T CARE café.

The specific location of this eatery has not yet been evaluated.  However, I do think it would be best to locate in the East Lansing/Okemos area.  That’s primarily because the man may already be headed toward that Mecca of dining establishments, when his wife replies.  “I don’t care.”

Also supporting this beginning location is the potential for expanding the business to West Lansing.  I’m expecting to draw almost as many diners to the  I DON’T KNOW Grille.

Because it will be a franchise type business, I’m working on a uniform menu.  Soup of the day will undoubtedly be Whatever .  If asked to describe it, the server would suggest that the ingredients are proprietary and change at the chef’s whim.

If the customer is persistent in seeking a hint as to the main ingredient of Whatever, waiters would be allowed the latitude of admitting that it usually contains the leftovers from the previous day’s entree;  I Can’t Decide.

If the customer continues to be undecided about whether to have Whatever or a salad, the server would advise that it would be good to choose the  Can’t Remember (what I ordered last time) salad.  It’s a sure bet it will be incomparable.

When the server directly inquires as to the ladies choice of an entree, he will know exactly which one she desires by her reply; Not Sure Yet   Though most of the menu selections would be pictured, this one necessarily would not.  That way it would eliminate the woman’s futile efforts to point to a vague picture and ask, “What’s in this?”  Alternatively, she must resort to pointing to the menu item—“Why is this dish  Not Sure Yet

Dutifully, the server kindly replies. “That is because no one’s sure until it comes out of the oven.”

Still peering at the bill of fare with glazed eyes she comments; “Decisions, decisions, decisions?”

Yes, maam…that’s our most popular dessert.  Three scoops of ice cream, each with a delectable unique flavor and topped with complimentary fruits, then sprinkled with nuts, coconut and chocolate chips.  Finally capped off with dollops of whip cream and bordered by banana slices.

But I’m not fond of nuts.

I’m very sorry, but  Decisions, Decisions, Decisions  does not allow any alternative decisions regarding toppings.

And I only like one of the ice cream flavors.

Then that would just be one Decision.  Which flavor would you like?

Oh, dear…I can’t decide.

Excuse me?  I Can’t Decide ‘s an entrée.


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